Our grades are coming back soon, and we all know what this means… Time for some serious reflection. If your results are less than optimal, it is highly possible that you are one of the 8 types of “bad” students listed below.

1. The perpetually late student

For some reason, this guy is always at least 5 minutes late, whether the class is at 8am, 12 noon, or 3 in the afternoon. That is not to say this student cannot be bothered –every time he is late, he rushes into class with ruffled hair and an apologetic look. But the next day, oops, he does it again. Why he is always late will forever be an enigma. But in the meantime, too bad, he is missing out. Everyone knows how all the important announcements are at the start of the class.

2. The dreamer

This guy is forever thinking about irrelevant things – what’s for lunch, which L4D strategy to use, how the girl sitting in front is so cute – and forgetting that he is in class. The only time he wakes up is when the bell rings and it is time to go home.

That’s when he becomes an annoying little prick.

“What did the teacher say ah?”

“We have homework or not?”

“Can someone lend me your notes? Please? Please?? PLEASE???”

3. The literal dreamer

This guy takes day-dreaming a step too far. Perhaps he slept at 2am playing DOTA into the wee hours. Perhaps he stayed up mugging in his closet. Whatever the case, it is easy to identify the literal dreamer by the gentle bobbing of his head, the suspicious glint at the corner of his mouth and…

“Benjamin Tan, how dare you fall asleep in my class!”

…The enraged howl of your Math teacher.

4. The doodler

This guy tries his best to take notes. But his pen seems to have a mind of its own. Before long, a parallel universe is birthed on his Physics textbook.

5. The tech savvy guy

This guy knows the pitfalls of taking notes with pen and paper (see number 4). Besides, he types faster than he writes. So he uses a laptop and a phone instead.

No one told him that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. First, Whatsapp gets him distracted. Next, Facebook shuts his ears to the counsel of his Literature teacher. Then, Instagram leads him astray into the land of social media, from where there is no return.

That is until the bell rings at 12 noon. Who can resist the taste of food and freedom?

6. The big mouth

This guy knows that he loves to talk. And he won’t take “shhh” for an answer. No amount of death stares and death threats from the teacher can get him to shut up. Finally, exasperated, the teacher sends him to the back of the class.

Oh dear God, please let me stop hearing things.

One moment of silence for the teacher please.

7. The robot

This guy is hardworking and obedient. Even if you ask him to write “Miss Tan is the best and I love her class” 1000 times, he will do it obligingly. His only problem is that he doesn’t know how to think.

Guess what, he wasn’t trying to be funny.

8. The worrier

Seriously, this guy takes things too seriously. To him, every test, every lab practice, every presentation is like the end of the world. He keeps his asthma tube at his sight, because chances are, he is going to have a breakdown soon.

Even 2.4km gives him butterflies in the stomach.

If any of the above characteristics had you sheepishly grinning, “that’s me”, congratulations. At least you know what part to improve about yourself now.